Well, the short story is that there's a large candle in a special place in the backyard of my folks' house. It's just under 7 feet tall, and weighs around 300 pounds.

To get a little further into it, I guess, part of the long story, let me say that it's become a bit of a work of art. It started with a friend of mine, a guy I lived with out in Banff, AB. I haven't seen or heard of him since May of 2003. The guy was a bit loopy. I'm not much better, but, that's not something that's necessary to get into at the moment. Anyway, I drove home with him from Banff, and we took it with us (to this day, leaving my Sega Genesis in Banff to make room is my biggest regret) across Canada - in the back of an old puke green Ford Escourt. I knew of a place in my backyard where it would fit nicely, so we took it there. My backyard, or, my folks' backyard, is where it currently resides, in Oakville, ON. That guy, whose name is not important (for he was a pathological liar, and the name that I knew him by could have been a concoction), went back to "Des Trois", QU, where I imagine he is now.

When the candle arrived back home with me, in 2003, it was maybe 25 pounds. It started with one candle in Banff, and had lost some of the mass that it had accumulated there when we packed it into our cross country chariot. Basically, we had to break some shit off so that it would fit in the Escourt's not-so-spacious interior. Over the course of that summer, after I put it on a Neighbourhood Watch sign that someone swiped and gave to me, it grew. I'd say it reached about maybe 3 feet at its highest that summer - about 60 pounds. After a winter outside in the cold, the summer of 2004 was good to it. It grew considerably. It became taller than me. I spent hundreds of dollars on candles, and many people frequent that special spot that I was about to tell you about in my backyard, so I had a lot of help. As I said, it grew, and grew, and grew - and that's all I've got for now. I'll tell you more about it at some point, but not now. That's it...for now.